Saturday, December 31, 2011

A New Year And A New Perspective,

Heya Freaks and Minx!

Well, here we are, another year together. Do you guys feel like we should have had coitus by now because this is one of the longest relationships I've ever had with someone and not at least seen them naked once. :D Four years with a lot of you and
I couldn't be happier to still have ya around.

The title of this blog is "A new year and a new perspective" for a reason. With my 30th birthday just looming around the corner a lot of things have started to make sense to me and this year alone has taught me a lot about love, loss, dealing with pain, and appreciating those around you who care. Sounds sappy, right? It kind of is but I will keep as much vag out of this post as I can. I don't want to sit here and rehash all of the bad through out the year as most of you know and those who don't probably don't want to hear about it. Besides, focusing on the bad blocks out the good and the good is all that really matters anyway.

Each year I make resolutions for the upcoming year. These normally consist of my promise to write more, stop smoking, work out more, cuss less, send people poo in the mail, but I never really keep up with them so they are just more empty and meaningless words that I make up to make me feel better. As I was pondering this the other day, more thoughts popped into my head about the way I look at past years in comparison to where I want to take the new ones. I say MANY time "Oh man, *insert year* really sucked. It was a really bad year. I am going to make *insert year* so much better". I know many of you say this too as I DO pay attention to your FB statuses, tweets, and emails that I get from you guys.

We all say the previous year sucked and we are going to make the next so much better. I am going to make a change in my perception this year. Yes, this year sucked. The past year sucked. The year before that sucked. Life sucks. Being an adult sucks. Having responsibility sucks. Not having everything go our way sucks. But we are missing something, the things that DON'T suck. The things we have. The things we have been given. Our kids. Our friends. The fact that we have people that care enough to read our stupid FB updates and make us laugh when no one else is around. Most of us are in good health but regardless of that, we are all still here. I said above that focusing on the bad blocks out the good. We always focus on the bad so much that we, at times, feel our entire existence is miserable. This is where we need to change our perspective.

We need to stop focusing on life and start focusing on living. In other words, stop trying to define the meaning of life and start defining the meaning of living. Life is hard anyway but so many of us make it harder. We worry so much about what others think of us and what people don't like about us that we forget to worry about JUST ourselves. We forget to love ourselves for the very faults that make us original and different from the crowd. That is something we all need to change.

This year my resolutions are simple:
Focus on living instead of life.
I will own all of my faults and each part of me that makes me who I am.
I will appreciate what I have and make the best out of every bad situation that presents itself.
I will get through each of life's demonic tests and when I get through them, I will focus on what I learned instead of focusing on the pain it caused.

These are simple, so freakin' simple, but many of us forget to do these things yet they are the most important. We have to stop crying about how bad the year before has been and MAKE it better for ourselves. No one is going to hand us happiness, we have to find it and expand it on our own.
Now if this sounds like a Tony Robbins post, I do apologize for that. I have never been a happy-go-lucky-the-world-is-beautiful-lets-believe-dog-shit-is-really-cotton-candy-and-roses type of person and I will never be. I hate the people who live life whistling a tune and slapping their knees like nothing bothers them because it makes me sick to see someone so ignorant to life and the world around them. Let's be honest, no one is THAT fricken' happy ALL of the time. I am simply exposing myself to you all and letting you know that if you feel the same way that I do, you are not alone in those feelings. And I also feel that in order for myself to do this, I need to be held responsible as I plan to hold you all responsible to your resolutions that I read from you. Yes, I will heckle you if you make one and break one. I would expect nothing less from you to do to me as well.

Well that is the skinny of it. I could go on and on all day but I will go back to being my salty old self for a bit. I'm like Roger on American Dad. If I am nice for too long, my life force starts to dwindle. Youtube that ep if you don't know what I am talking about, you will see Dai in her true form. ;)

I wish you all THE VERY BEST for 2012 and if we don't all die on December 21, 2012, I'm going to dig up a Mayan and kick it in the skull for being a lazy prick and not finishing the calendar. ;)
All my love to you and here is to seeing all of you in the new year!!


Paragraphs edited especially for Kevin Herrin who had an issue with my lack of formatting on my PB. Lol Thank you for the feedback, Kevin. Happy New Year!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Just a few more loose ends tied and some insight into my working mind.

Well, here we are at my second post of this blog and I have no real idea of what to write about. Honestly, I don't know where to start with explaining things because I have so much going on but have to wonder how much of it will actually be of interest to you. I refuse to treat this like a Twitter and report each time I have coffee or go out to a restaurant so I will try to stick to the basics.

I guess a good place to start would be to explain some of what I posted in my last edition. I have gotten a few questions about certain things and asked about things that I may have left out. Please understand that for one reason or another, I may leave out certain explanations from time to time to protect the identities of some or because I don't want to get too into some of my more personal situations. I may talk about those when I am ready but we all have those parts of our lives that we aren't as much ashamed of as we just never want to relive them. The time may come or it may not. But I do promise always to be honest about things, honesty has never been hard for me.
I do want to add before I start that I find it hysterical that so many people have found this blog by looking up "Dai Greens age". That is in my stats. Are you guys really that curious about how old I am? I hope I am younger than what you thought. ;)

If I am anything, I am a failure at romantic relationships. Why is that? Well, I don't exactly know. I don't think it is so much of how I am in comparison to the people I choose to date. I've dated some real ... well let's just call them anti-winners. Believe it or not, I really am a shy person so I never approach those I may have a small crush on and let them know. I have adored some of the world's sweetest men and never made a move. I wait until someone approaches me and then I gauge the situation. This never works out. Never. Never. Never. I attract the "bad boys" by virtue of my tattoos and devil-may-care perception of myself. Then low and behold, they ACT like bad boys and I find myself in a strange relationship purgatory where I am trying to "fix" them while being miserable in the way I am treated. Soon enough, the commodity runs out and the relationship ends. But it doesn't stop there. Just ask LITERALLY 6 ex-boyfriends of mine who have called or text me on the nights before their wedding to say "you will always be my greatest love", "you're the one who got away", "I will always love you more than anything", "she can never compare to you", (yes, actual words from some of them) etc. I have always wondered what their wives would say if I ever showed that to them. I tried to let one know but she called me a jealous liar. That ended that moral crusade. So, the trend goes on. I meet them, they approach me, they treat me like dick, I get fed up, they get married, and the text messages start. So much fun.
I am freshly out of a relationship. That one was hard. I find myself missing the hell out of him but then realize he was never really there anyway. This is a difficult one for me. I would like to analyze this one before I talk too much about it. So, there is clarification of my failed love life.

As for work, it is difficult to explain my love/hate relationship with this industry. The best way to do so is to say I have met prostitutes with more class in their pubic hair than some of the people I have met in this industry. And I say that with all seriousness. Now, not all people here are bad! I have quite a few friends that I love more than life and admire so many that I have met here. But sadly, it is a sad number compared to the "it's all about me", "I am the best", "people should feel lucky to be in my presence", "I deserve a blow job for being in this film" attitudes that people carry around. And a lot of the most outspoken, self admiring, egotistical people are the WORST at what they do! No talent! No redeeming qualities! No original ideas! Just worthless jobless people who own a camera and make movies with the people they live off of and trade screen time for a place to stay and some warm meals. Do you know how INSANE that makes me?! Everyday I see talented newcomers who are dying to get admiration for their hard work and they have to compete for recognition with asshats like that. Well, guess who wins that battle in my book. I have a few rules that I stick to and I will share them with you all.
-If someone is telling you how awesome or talented they are, odds are they are the only one who believes and sees it.
-If someone is constantly complaining about the state of film making and film makers, they have way too much time on their hands and doing less than the people they complain about. After all, who had THAT much time to bitch on social networks when they are doing something with their lives.
-If someone's claim to fame is that their titties, penis, vag, etc is in a film, that's the only part they were useful for. If people remember the "member" before their performance, they probably had a shitty performance not worth remembering.
-If you see a shitty film being glorified by smaller entertainment sites, the odds are the writer is riding the balls of the film maker who is promising them a role in their next film. Yes, film makers know how to manipulate the system and some naive and just as equally of untalented people will fall for it.
-Self promotion is one thing. Self exploitation is another. When someone literally drowns you out in an ocean of their projects and has to post everywhere they are, have been, will be, what they are attached to, what they will be appearing in, who they will be working with, etc and NEVER SHUT UP about themselves, this person is trying way to hard and it normally shows they don't have the talent to back up the name they are trying to build. These people are get a quick admission to my "ignore" club. I can't take them seriously after that.

These are just a few of my rules. I have many and they serve me well.
I am not a nice person when it comes to certain things. I have no time nor want to surround myself with people who can't take the time to get better because they believe they are already perfect. Life is a learning experience and those who believe they have already mastered it are the newest of students.
But beyond all of that crap, I love what I do! I love watching new film makers grow and old pros hone their crafts. I love watching people who never thought they could make it, make it. I love the success stories that come out of this pit of gloop. There aren't many but the ones that exist are worth being around for the ride for.

As far as everything else, I will start going into more immediate issues in the next few entries. I am just giving you a taste of who you are dealing with here. If you have any questions, you know where to find me.
I have to run for now. School work, site work, and kids are calling. Talk to you guys soon!


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The start of something new. This is who I am.

Hey all :)

It's been a long time, hasn't it. I have been updating FB and HNN a lot but I have seriously neglected this blog.
Due to recent events, I have decided to make this a diary of sorts. A place where I can talk about more things than just horror or entertainment news. A place that I can express myself and show who I am without all the glitz and glamor (like there ever was any haha)that you normally get on my other websites. In simple terms, this blog is gonna be about me. Just me. In all my weird, abnormal, hectic, complex, and psychotic glory. So I will start this off and open up a little but about who I really am, what I really do, and give you an inside look at where I came from in comparison to where I am going.

I was born on May 3, 1982 to David and Laurali Green (now Laurali Phillips). By all accounts I was a pretty ugly baby if you ask my parents. I had a huge mouth and my head had just enough hair to give me a mohawk. We moved to Mastic Long Island and my childhood could have been called typical until things feel apart. My parents separated and I lived with my older sister, Mother, Grandmother, and her filthy pig of a husband. I won't get into to too much why he is a filthy pig but let's just say if you ever meet an old fart in New York (probably)named Nicholas DeMarco, feel free to spit in his face. Just to be on the safe side, ask if he was ever married to a Sherry Eaton before you do it otherwise some poor guy had his face spat on for no reason. We moved to a little shit of a town called Pueblo, CO and then Las Vegas, NV. I became a pretty troubled kid and by the age of 13 my mother kiced me out of the house to live with my father. I stayed with my uncle until Dad came home from Korea (military man. God Bless our troops) and we moved to Enterprise, AL. This is when I found out I had a little sister and my Dad was a single parent just as my Mom had been with us all those years. I straightened up for the most part but when he decided to move to California, I returned back to Vegas where I fell back into bad habits. I left home when I was 16 and moved back to AL by myself. At the age of 17 I got pregnant with my twins. HOLY FUCK did not explain the feeling I had when I found out that I was not only pregnant but I was having two. My boyfriend's name was CJ and he was the most head strong, buttfaced, crappermouthed, awesome kid I had ever met. He would become the love of my life and the epitome of heartbreak at a later time. We were homeless during my pregnancy. One night I had to sleep behind the dryer of an apartment complex's dryer in the laundry room and realized that I was going to end up dead along with my babies if I didn't change something. I moved back to Vegas alone at six months pregnant and had two beautiful but tiny babies boys one month later. I had just turned 18 three days before their birth. One was 2lbs 6oz and the other was 2lbs 8oz. In a series of VERY careless and unfortunate events, I almost lost both babies. They survived but with some serious health problems. (They are doing awesome now but both still have serious conditions due to hospital negligence. I don't want to go into those as this would be the longest blog post in history.)
CJ and I couldn't be together and his drug problems got worse so we broke up. I met another man in this time and had a son with him. When this man and I were months away from our wedding (while I was just newly pregnant) I lost one of the fetuses and fought to save the other. Days afterward I found out this man was sleeping with every female who didn't have a nickle between her knees and left him. The lies I found out after this cemented the fact I would never be with him again. The other fetus survived. This one was full term and awesome as well. I was a single Mom of three boys at the age of 20. One year later, as I was still holding out hope CJ would straighten out and we could be a family as we had still talked about, he was found murdered on a country road in Henry County Alabama. My heart died that day...
The only thing that could even become a positive about this would be that I now have a burning passion to help victims of crime (which explains my constant talking about it) and that I have the greatest best friend which is his Mama, Doni Mobley. Everything else, well.... this is a pain that no one should have to feel in their lives.
To move on from that... Later I met another man and on our first "encounter" I made a beautiful little girl. FINALLY a girl!!! Woo hoo!! Yes, I have tied my tubes since then. Due to MANY circumstances (which I will not go into due to the fact I just DON'T want to talk about it) it ended. I was now the single Mom of four beautiful, awesome, and rambunctious children who I lovingly call my gremlins.
I stayed single for three years to try and clear my head and reverse certain damages until I slowly started dating again. After a few casual encounters I met this last one. He was pretty much perfect for me except for one thing... I still haven't figured out what that thing is but needless to say, we didn't work out after 1.5 years of trying. Well, I tried. He kind of just said he did. I won't talk bad about him although I am pretty hurt by the way things ended up. Less everything that has happened, I still care.

Well, there is pretty much 70% of my life right there. I left somethings out for different reasons including that I will probably relive them in these posts and don't want to be redundant or that you may already know them.
As for who I am now??

Hi, my name is Dai and I work in the horror industry as a website "headmistress"/writer, a script doctor, podcast host where I talk about entertainment, am currently in school for psychology and taking criminal justice classes, and a mommy of four amazing kids. I have been in movies, comic books, and even do a voice over in a hip hop song.
My favorite colors are black and red, I eat LOTS of Italian food, I HATE mushrooms and bacon, I laugh at pretty much anything, certain commercials make me cry, I listen to pretty much all music, I associate smells to weird things (the other day I thought my kids' bedroom smelled like old man pants. It really did), I make fun of myself MORE than anyone could possible do, I fall a lot, I don't drink alcohol because my body hates it and am pretty seriously against drug use (it kills too many and destroys the lives of most) and I collect the strangest things. I will go into that last one later. I am also a HUGE dark/horror art freak. Oh, and I am a spiritualist who loves to answer the door for Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses because they entertain me.
I think that is about it. If you have any questions, let me know and I will answer them. I hope you guys enjoy reading this blog. It may be strange at times but it will always be honest.

Thank you guys and I will see ya soon!